Call me ..... Don Chisciotte
A film director once said that life is about loss, from the minute we are born we start loosing… we loose our teeth, our hair, our innocence our inhibitions and finally our life. I do not think I will ever be too bothered by these losses because with them come gains, such as gaining wisdom, experience, confidence and so on. There is only one thing I regret loosing and it is the passion and fervour I had as a kid.
That blind passion that makes you say, “Anything is possible” and actually believe it. That purity of heart that makes you stand up to a big bully because they pushed YOUR best friend. That certainty that you would walk the world over to get to that special person just because they need you NOW. That strength that you find within you to lift up your crying friend from the water when he or she is twice your size. That switch that turns on in your head and all you see is your duty as a friend, and righteously you march like David up to Goliath, looking at him in the eye and shouting “let go of my friend”- actually believing that you will sort it out oblivious of the consequences. That explosion you felt in your chest that spread warm and fast through your body, giving you boundless courage determination. That feeling that made each and everyone a little hero.
I miss that. I miss that doubtless courage. That fervour that was blind to the ridiculous constraints of society, its stupid pointless obligations and responsibilities, which seem to say “yes you can walk the world over but only after you have completed your fucking spreadsheet (boss needs it by Monday!).” That cowardice that tells us that we would stand up to that bully but only after our breakfast briefing with the agency, plus he could be an investor. And please, please, let’s not put up a scene by screaming “let go of my friends” Jeff and Janice from the club could overhear us.
What happened to the pure of heart that laugh uncontrollably when happy, that cry shamelessly when sad, that love boundlessly and that say friend forever really meaning it.
I had never realised before how tragic loosing that child has been….