just a story

song: Lullaby of broadway
http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/116001/lullaby/Dianne%20Reeves%20-%20Lullaby%20of%20broadway

“…put your energy in what you are passionate about and you will not fail…” that’s what her horoscope read that day, and those where the last words she thought about as the blade burned into her skin and glazed over her throat. Like ripping silk the tear ran from left to right. She must have looked rather calm, almost gracious as she froze for what seemed to be an eternity. Her inscrutable appearance did not match the havoc that was stirring inside- as her brain fired off messages to the rest of her body, whilst feverishly sorting though a lifetime of memories in the desperate hope of finding something that would have saved her life.

She could feel a chill along her neck, where the wetness was spreading, running over her clavicle and onto her chest. Her brain, having exhausted all options was becoming sluggish and she was slipping into a comfortable torpor…. Her hands released from their clench, her eyes eased down and she slowly sank into the concrete…

Feeling Artsy

Song: Ave Maria
http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/31063/ave_maria/Schubert%20-%20Ave%20Maria


... as he clicked SEND on his screen, her finger brushed over her monitor switch. She had not heard back from him and though hope is a resilient force it was quickly failing her. She knew the pain of this loss would soon catch up with her if the police didn't. She had been careless this time, caught up in the currents of passion- inebriated by his velvet, skin strong back and tar coloured hair. There was enough forensic evidence to convict her three times over and her slender neck suited pearls more than a noose. She was not going out like that not in that grey frumpy number, maybe even dropping a shoe when the floor beneath her would go missing. No, no, no. Not that way, she would not give then the pleasure of seeing her like that. She had always been a resolute gal, and resourceful too. This is what had kept her in her line for business this long. So she opened a drawer and slowly twisted the top off the petite glass bottle. As she drew it closer to her lips her mind wondered back to the previous night and warm she felt in his arms. Warm, yes warm. She had not felt warm in so long.

The Holly One has left the building....

Hope there is Someone- Anthony and the Johnsons

http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/112047/johnsons/Antony%20and%20the%20Johnsons%20%20-%20I%20am%20a%20Bird%20Now%20-%2001-hope%20there%27s%20someone

Just a quick entry to salute Holly One- the midget that made the Bagdad (porn club in Barcelona) what it is today. Apparently he was of Swiss or Italian origins, he was discovered in Ibiza in the 90’s and took the porn industry by storm with his sense of humour and moral altitude….

He could be seen sporting a police uniform at the club door- and later inside performing. He was an ongoing joke between a special person, and me. With him die the hopes I had too see him and a little part of my past.

I toast to you and hope to see you up there (or down there) obviously in costume!
xxx

Forever and a day

The song I chose for this entry would have been "True Romance " by the Tiger Army... but since I could not find it you must settle for:
Forever For Her- White Stripes
http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/43370/forever_is_over/The%20White%20Stripes%20-%20Forever%20for%20her%20%28is%20over%20for%20me%29


“You said forever, you lied” or “you said you’d live me till you died, but as far as I know you are still alive” or “forever meant nothing….” And so on there are a million songs that recriminate a partner for the misuse of the word forever. Needless to point out that in most cases one should consider the use of the word “forever” as a poetic licence. It would be much like saying “your lips taste like ripened peaches” which really reads, “Wow that peach snaps you just knocked back rocks!” Secondly, the meaning of “Forever” to us evolves as we age, and evolves to society as it ages. With this I mean that our perception of time changes, as we get older. As a child I thought an hour was almost forever, whereas now I only catch myself thinking that during work or monotonous sex. In most cases an hour flies by. Similarly, in society forever used to be 40 yeas (of marriage) or 60 (of life) whereas now we (first world) live till our late 80’s or even 90’s (if you are a girl) thus almost doubling the length of “forever”.

Could our parents, which put themselves through 40 years of marriage, really want us to be put through the same (but double the time!). Would it not be more advisable to have two 40-year marriages… after all it worked so well for them- 40 is the perfect duration.

As a close and wise (yet born on the wrong side of the tracks) friend of mine said: In this day and age people no longer have one life. We have a multitudes of lives, jobs, likes and dislikes... so why not relationships? It’s basically like being re-incarnated but all within a lifetime.

All in all not even tattoos are forever any more.

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…

Listen to: Jack Johnson- Better Together
http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/96639/jack_johnson/Jack%20Johnson%20-%20%20Better%20Together

Ok, I will stop whining for a minute. This was a brilliant glorious weekend! No, I did not get laid… The weather was fantastic it was a September weekend that would have made the August weekends cover up in shame! The sun was shining, kissing our pale little British shoulders. The oversized sunglasses came out of the box to hide the watery hung over eyes. And every fashionista in town had her ripped miniskirt and festival ridden ballet pump on show for the last time (yup they will be out of season by October…). All in all – wicked! And they say global warming is bad?! Give it four years and England will be the new Andalusia.

I danced until 4 am on Friday and went to the hairdressers in the morning hours. Needless to say that I was late and I was asleep- thus waking up a brunette! OK, it was my fault as I was not monitoring the girl and she let loose with some eastern European glamour- but hell! I almost look respectable now, and let’s face it cheap and fast has always been the image I went for.
Come to think of it I have always been a blond- maybe this will allow me to reach out to a new market (of boys) which previously ignored me. I shall explore the brunette loving market and report back. Who knows next time I may go red!

The rest of the weekend was spend lazing out with my ex boyfriend, laughing and joking, feeling familiar and comfortable. I went to the market to buy fresh fruit and even made plum jam and a plum tart! To sum it up it was a weekend of illegal Spanish bars, hard rock and metal head banging, beauty, lazing and making jam! Well, if I didn’t cover all angles I don’t know who did.
So I have a real positive feel about the things to come. Instinctively we always fear change, and somewhat resist it- but after the dust settles we are usually presented with something very exciting. In any case change IS inevitable- the alternative is fossilization and eventually death (of the soul, if anything)- so why fight it.

Tolstoy said, “Our happiness cannot be based on someone else’s unhappiness”-

*FOREVER LOST BY THE MAGIC NUMBERS

Tolstoy was a dick! (look at the picture.. does that look like a man that enjoyed himself? Someone to take life advice from?!)

Ok that is a bit strong- but I am coming down with something and I become careless with words when I am not well.

I read this quote over a year ago and often went back to it when having to decide about my life and that of others. I used it to advise friends, and not sparingly, just to realise that it is absolute bullocks! There is a very happy girl out there wrapped around the arm of the boy that used to make me laugh until I cried. She did not stop for a second to think that her happiness would be based on my unhappiness. So here we have it either we all become selfish and careless or Tolstoy becomes a mandatory read in all schools!


* I decided to add the name of a song at the beginning of each post to set the mood. I suggest you all go to http://www.radioblogclub.com/ and listen to the song whilst reading the post. * Oh, before I go- there is a funny story about the Magic Numbers:

Cute work boy: “Do you know “The Magic Numbers”
Me (looking blank but trying to act cool): … Hum, three and five.
Cute work boy: Ummm.. It’s a band
My thoughts: I want to die…..

The Bitch is Back!

A little older, a little wiser and a little better... so I am back. Back on line, back on track- after a few events that did test my sanity and my strength. Out of all of this I leaned a thing or two, which I have condensed in this top list of

THE THING I LEARNED IN A SHITTY MONTH OF MY LIFE:

1. When everything falls apart do not try to lean on the things that make you feel safe- because you become vulnerable again (should those things go missing) just ride out the storm with your own strength.

2. In times of trouble you will always be surprised by the amount of people that come out of the woodwork to help you.

3. Do not try to “borrow” other people’s dreams and life plans- have your own and make them happen.

4. No matter how sad/bizarre/unique your break-up can be- Shakira has written a song about it!
Enjoy peeps!