Life is not fair

Moldy Peaches: Whose Got the Crack

http://www.radioblogclub.com/open/23435/moldy_peaches/The%20moldy%20peaches%20-%20%20Who%27s%20Got%20the%20Crack

I have never been so horny in my life, I have never been in such sterling physical shape, yet it seems that between 29 and 30 years of age I have developed a mature conscience and a level of pickiness which means I will never get laid!!

Yes because some day, whilst I was lying drunk in the gutter somewhere, while I was getting a lap dance from a russian illegal immigrant in a London strip joint, whilst shagging some exceptionally good-looking shallow film director wanna-be, my brian must have ticked over scruple-less, yet kind and fun loving girl of little morality- to a middle age bigot that is looking for love. And this means that for some cosmic reason that escapes me, I can no longer answer booty calls from a Portuguese ex-banker turned fruit delivery boy (with a six pack that would put Greek statues to shame). No because for as horny as I am I unconsciously decided that free love in no longer the way. You may think that is good but no! it’s a curse. Now I am horny and looking for love.

Think what that means…. In the long run…

My horny-ness will cloud my judgement and convince my brain that the unemployed alcoholic, bias to sexual asphyxiation is actually a misunderstood romantic that would make a great catch! I see it every as I eye up men 10 years younger, and actually make 2000 cups of tea because the rout to the kitchen happens to bring me by the dark room where horny quality assurance geeks (considered the bottom of the media barrel) spend the day watching TV in their sweaty gear.

I need to take immediate action- this will come in the form of an astonishingly short skirt and a pair of brand new fuck-me boots. God help me- I am going to kill my morality even if it takes me with it!