you can run but you can't hide

I feel it has found me and now it’s hunting me down, its panting getting closed, the thud of its paws getting louder and though I am still not there yet- decision time is coming up. I am getting rather bored with my job, my hair, my life and even with the breakfast I eat every morning. You see this is what I tend to do I change everything, to the extent of moving country, every few years and then I fall into a pattern which I stick to for a while and then need to change again- the cycle begins.

Every time I crave change the words “a life less ordinary” keep on bouncing around in my head. I start thinking of volunteering, of getting a flash car, of going away for a year to some remote country and so on. It’s like an itch you feel in your belly, which keeps at it, you can’t eat and you find it hard to focus. All you can hear is “a life less ordinary, a life less ordinary”.

I have learned, after numerous colossal fuck ups, to keep this jitteriness under control without the aide of massive doses of narcotics and tranquilizers, but I have also come to accept that I can not ignore it. Basically, I do not get up hand in my resignation and think of a plan later, but I feel I need to turn around a “get out plan” very quickly or risk going blue in the face and exploding into a comet of fire and bad words.

In the end of the day life has to be lived and we should strive to experience as much of it as possible- do as many different things as you can and squeeze in as much as humanly attainable in every minute of your day. Don’t sit home and watch TV, don’t sit in a bar complaining that nothing ever happens to you, and by god don’t turn down an offer or an invitation to something new.

Life is now calling me and telling me that I am too set in my ways. My morning porridge does not taste as good as it used to, nor does my new futon feel as comfy- time to turn myself around and live a new life for a while. As Picasso said, or should have said, I am 1000 men (in my case women).