TOP 10 WAYS TO SCARE OFF BOYS:
I know it’s been done and you are all probably thinking of the obvious ways to terrify the young and inexperienced boys. Inexperienced, because lets face it no matter how old, nor how many girlfriends he had a boy will always be a boy thus inexperienced. Girls may lead them to believe that girls are the weaker sex through clumsy behaviour, ditsy comments and silly giggles but girls know the truth. Behind every pair of puppy eyes, behind each baby ogling, sweet smiling airhead there is a master of the hunt. Fine tuned instincts, scheming mind and an infinite drive which allows us girls to willingly use all tricks in the book- nothing too low nor to dishonest…. As long as you (boys) feel in control, see yourselves as protectors and more importantly see us as innocent- because let’s face it we are all, on some level attracted to innocence.
But back to us and scaring boys (BTW- did that do it?) here are my top ways of scaring boys please ADD TO THEM, But let’s avoid the cheap short cuts such as I am pregs and similar:
1. Carry around a baby scrap book- for the child you will have
2. Have a life size cardboard cut out of yourself in your room and complimented extensively in the third person when asked about it such as “Isn’t she beautiful?”
3. Show up to the first date really really plastered/drunk… I mean falling off your chair pissed
4. When on the date refer to how his height/haircut/build will affect your wedding pictures “ you are a bit too tall, it will not look great in wedding pictures”
5. When you see a boy (even better if he is with his girlfriend) go up to him and say hi. Once he looks at you, puzzled ask him if he remembers you. As he gets more uncomfortable say “oh, maybe this will help” turn around – stick your butt out and whilst slapping it pretend you are being done doggy style then add: “still nothing- you were holding my hair like a pony tail…well never mind- must happen to you all the time” and walk away
6. When you are making out with a boy ask him if you can call him by a different name (e.g. BOB). He will eventually ask you who BOB, either before or after making out- at which point you reply “Bob is my dad’s name”
How else could you scare a boy?
posted by Franci @ 10:54 AM
8 Comments:
a good place to start is by making a post like that-and find it amusing. What is wrong with you lady? i mean cant you just be honest and say that "i dont like you and you shit me to tears. get the fuck out of my life." trust me it is better for a boy to hear that than to be treated like a fool because when he realises ( we are not all dumb maybe just slow sometimes) he will more than likely find his way to a book room above some grassy noll or clock tower and start picking of people one by one and one of those people could be a scientist, who for years worked secretly, without notes, who just discovered a cure for AIDS or cancer and is on his way to present his findings. That scientist will be dead and cure will be lost because of you - have fun trying to wash the blood of those hands sister- Think about that next time you want to mess with a mans head or make a list to scare them off...
hummm... little bitterness in your comment...These ways are not employed to "get rid of boys" a simple I don't like you suffices. These are ways to amuse oneself in the oh- so boring dating world where everyone is obsessively trying to find the "one". I would actually hope that the boy on the receiving end (if he realises these are jokes) would find these rather amusing, but I guess you do need to have a sense of humour to find these funny- a thing that not all of us are gifted with. To tell you the truth is a boy had a good comeback to these I would seriously have to focus not to fall in love - the power of brains!
As far as the murder of future scientist or noble prize winners- I think our leaders are doing a pretty good job in decimating them... so why not sing as rome burns?!
oh, one last note- I have been "victim" of such tactics and always admired the genius each and every time.
fran
BTW- I lOVE boys! they are great! I take it upon myself to meet and get to know as many as possible....
your comments are noted and my heart goes out to all the broken hearted and angry out there.
wow you are angry... let me buy you a drink and show you my baby scrap book!
why so bitter anon 1? are you the on ethat keeps on posting angry comments? what does that say about you? I wonder.
tish
Fake schizoidishness is fun for all - leave 'accidental' clues that you are secretly obsessed with marrying him while on the outside appear SUPER DUPER breezy and easy going and not interested in commitment. Like mumble your first name and his last name followed by I do, I do a thousand times I do in your 'sleep' after crazy dirty sex or just leave doodles of your 'married name' everywhere around your place like absent mindedly doodled on the notepad by the phone or in the margins by the crossword - double freak out points for leaving it doodled in the margins of the crossword left in the toilet...triple for this maneuver left in HIS toilet. And for extra evil fun pretend to hide a fit of ridiculously enraged and violent anger by excusing yourself and going emntal where he can still hear you and then he'll be totally freaked out but also too scared to leave you. Mooohoohhaaaa
pee in the corner of his room like a cat marking your area....better yet pee on him
I LOVE THIS! people go wild....It can apply to scaring girls too....
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